Manny's Online Diary

Utilizing some of the dead space of the internet for my own thoughts. I've never been good at writing how I feel on paper, I hate having it in such a physical form.

My entries will be ordered in reverse, the latest ones will be at the top, if all goes well code wise.

June 6th, 2026

I should really start pricing commissions better. whatver.

I watched Backrooms recently. I really liked it! I hope my friends watch it soon so I can talk about it with them. I really like how flawed Clark is as a character. He doesn't teeter into unredeemable territory and moreso serves as a direct parallel to the backrooms themselves. The scares were really fun too I wish I didn't have such a full theater so I could enjoy it fully.
I wish I had someone to take with me. It's a bit lonely not having anyone to talk to when I go on these solo outings.

  • TOTAL:1810 CALORIES


    • June 2nd, 2026

    Happy pride month. This time of year always fills me with doubt and hope. 22 years old and I'm still not quite sure where I am at in life or what I could be. I find too much comfort in being content with where I'm at that I find myself too terrified to do anything more. If it isn't expected of me I often won't do it.
    This month can be very isolating for me as well. Especially with where I live now. I don't have anybody with me anymore and I wish I did. I want to feel confident in myself but how can I be confident without the prescence of others? The last time I had a decent conversation with anyone was my coworker and I've been craving that ever since. I wish I had the self confidence to try dating apps or something. I spend so much time in my head nowadays it borders on a second reality for me. I go there in the mornings when I work and I'm still there when I go to sleep. I fear if I didn't have it I'd just go crazy from the isolation.

  • TOTAL:1293 CALORIES


    • May 31st, 2026

    Nothing too crazy today. Not much to report either, did some shopping and baked peach cobbler today which I would absolutely love to try if I wasn't already at my calorie limit for the day AND also dealing with IBS. The world hates me!

  • TOTAL:1216 CALORIES


    • May 30th, 2026

    Got to talk more with my coworker today. Realized she was a lot cooler than I realized. I was super excited and I have her on my shift tomorrow. Maybe I can ask her if she has discord or something. I dunno, that would require me clarifying I am a trans man but she seems kind of chill. I mean she mentioned RDR2 yaoi I'd hope she's chill KJNASF.

    Work has been kicking my ass. One more day before I get a day off. I'm really starting to get tired of waking up at 3 in the morning.

  • TOTAL:1287 CALORIES


    • May 29th, 2026

    Happy Friday! Work has been kicking my ass. I've been getting up at 3 in the morning for the past few days and I have two more days to go. I'm cleaning bathrooms tomorrow wish me luck. Today was my cheat day so I didn't count what I ate as much.

    I drew a lot of stuff lately. Mostly gift art for the server I'm in, maybe I will make an art feed on the side bar... not sure. I'd have to upload all the images and I'm lazy blegh. Having a drink before bed goodnight.

  • TOTAL:2274 CALORIES

    • May 27th, 2026

    Nothing of substance to report yesterday. Today I learned I am down 10 pounds which is huge. Work sucked. Picked up another shift anyways so now I work 4 days in a row blegh.

    Today I ate:

  • 2 cornbread slices (200 cal)
  • 1 white monster (10 cal)
  • 1 pepsi (150 cal)
  • 1 taco (385 cal)
  • 1 cookie (190 cal)
  • 1 baja blast mixed with vodka (220 cal)
  • TOTAL:1155 CALORIES


    • May 25th, 2026

    Hellooo hello! Sorry for no entry yesterday. I have to admit there was nothing much to report.

    Went back to work again today, theaters were bad but nothing I couldn't handle. Finished the art piece I was working on for the server I might make my own art forum thing in here or somewhere on my site. Depends shrugs. I did promise to draw for some people that got left out so I'm hoping to provide something of the same quality...

    Today I ate:

  • 2 caprisuns (100 cal)
  • 1 pepsi (150 cal)
  • 1 spicy chicken sandwich combo meal from wendys (1020 cal)
  • TOTAL:1280 CALORIES

    • Once again, this is ballpark numbers, I'm usually under the assumption this is more than what I actually write down but I think I did a decent job of not overeating today. My stomach is already adapting to the smaller portion sizes which is good news for me. I walked a bunch today so I didn't hop on the treadmill.

    May 23rd, 2026

    Almost forgot to do an entry today. Totally though I did but it was one of those think about doing the action and you trick your brain into believing that you actually performed the action.

    Nothing much to report for today. Very mundane, played some games, counted what I ate. Walked a little over 3 miles today to make up for all that I ate yesterday, kept under my calories (I think) today.

    I guess just to fill up an entry I can talk about what I disucssed yesterday. Whenever it's just me and my mom I often find us talking about love and romance and relationships. It's not surprising considering her recent divorce around 2 years ago and my breakup about 1 year ago. We've both been through the ringer and it's a bit depressing seeing the qualities of my father in my ex but I think that's just a post symptom breakup. Or I am just my mothers' son lol. Anyways we talked a bit about my sibling and their current partner. I have to admit I am not the biggest fan of their partner, I'm not the biggest fan of dating in general to be honest. After experiencing what I am going to assume will be the one and only relationship I will ever have in my lifetime, I can't say I find romance very appealing for me. At least not in a physical form.

    I've been pursuing fictional romance for the most part. Self-shipping with fictional characters, I've found it to be easier. It's pathetic but comforting to imagine the idea of a person that doesn't exist comoforting you and accepting you in a way that no real person could. People tell me I just haven't found the right person but I've realized I might just be too picky. Too bitchy. Too self absorbed in my own things to give someone the attention they probably want in a relationship. Maybe that's why I prefer the fictional kind. I control the way things go, I can rewrite the dialog, I can set the scene however I like. I can even make myself look how I want.

    Sorry that was a bummer. Tomorrow I'm getting breakfast with my mom. Gonna walk some more tomorrow to make up for it, breakfast food is pretty calorie dense.

    Today I ate:

  • Coffee (210 cal)
  • Leftover Sandwich (360 cal)
  • Spicy Chicken Sandwich (470 cal)
  • Small Fries (260 cal)
  • Pepsi (150 cal)
  • TOTAL:1470 CALORIES

    • It's getting really annoying living in a state that doesn't require nutrition facts. All of my calorie counts I'm sure are pretty off because most places aren't required to tell you how much is in a meal. Most of this is ballparked.

    May 22nd, 2026

    Went to my cousin's graduation today. Spent most of my day out of the house but it was fine, nothing too crazy. Lots of photos again which I didn't want to be apart of. We had dinner at the town hall and it was good, basically the same meal that they usually get catered for these sorts of things. Sibling decided they wanted to relent to their partner again and fuck off to the next state over for their partners' cousins' graduation or something. Only a 2 hour 30 minute drive but still, my mom was pretty pissed. I don't blame her it annoyed me too. She pulled them aside and talked to them, something I think was long overdue but better late than never. Hopefully they'll take it as a sign to not act like such a dick to us.
    I definitely overate today. I didn't really have time to walk like I wanted to, so I figured I'd just use today as my excuse or cheat day or whatever its called. I had to download a new fitness app because the google fit app grossly overexaggerates the amount of calories you burn when you walk. 2k calories for 2 miles? When the average calorie burn per mile is close to 100 if even that. It was getting annoying, it annoyed me more that I let an app lie to me like that but what can you do? Anyways...

    Today I ate:

  • Half a cookie (60 cal)
  • Doritos (150 cal)
  • Like... 1/4th of a slice of chocolate cake (117 cal)
  • Pepsi (200 cal)
  • Strawberry Lemonade Monster (200 cal)
  • Potato Chips (160 cal)
  • 2 sub sliders (560 cal, I'm ballparking this since my state doesn't require nutrition facts)
  • Capri-Sun (50 cal)
  • 1 m and m cookie (250 cal)
  • TOTAL:1747 CALORIES

    • Goals for tommorrow? Uhhh probably not have as much to eat as I did today, walk maybe a little more than I did to make up for today as well. Gonna try to see if I can't hop in a voice call with a friend, if not, maybe put together some of the shit I need to prepare to apply to that college I was looking at.

    May 21st, 2026

    Sibling's graduation was today. There were a lot of people, a lot more than what I had I'm pretty sure. I shouldn't dwell on it though, who cares? It was almost 2 hours and super long, some people came over and we had some catered sandwiches. I realllly wanted another one but I had to remember my diet blegh... That's gonna be annoying.

    I went on a walk to try and burn off the calories of everything I ate today, hopefully it won't be too bad. I did walk a little over 2 miles again I think. It was hot out but not bad, my feet hurt. Kind of overate a little bit today but it was a celebration, that will be my excuse :p

    Today I ate:

  • 1 iced coffee (210 cal)
  • 1 sandwich (560 cal)
  • 3 caprisuns (150 cal)
  • 1 bag of potato chips (150 cal)
  • 1/2 of a chocolate chip cookie (110 cal)
  • TOTAL:1180 CALORIES


    • May 20th, 2026

    I finally managed to format the website. Not used to working without a template but I want to learn HTML more naturally and not rely on templates and stuff as a crutch. I struggled just to apply a container lol.

    I don't have work for the next few days, sibling's graduation and all that. Today I ate some breakfast and walked on the treadmill. I hate feeling so embarassed just exercising but when my sibling walked in today they kind of laughed at me. I think it was supposed to be in good fun but I have a hard time taking things like that in a graceful way. It's ok, I walked and got the exercise I wanted. I was hungry but I didn't want to eat lest I ruin my diet so I went to sleep for 2 hours. I got up, ate the rest of my muffin anyways (so much for sleeping) and got on my computer. That's where I am now, just finished formatting the site and now I might watch some youtube while I wait for a message back from this artist I plan on commissioning.

    I know I said I'd save my money and not buy anything else but I've already wasted money on a Franco keychain, I've been wanting someone to draw him with my self insert anyways. There is absolutely no x male content with Franco it's annoying. I shouldn't be a man complaining about invading a woman's space but I am. Least we could get is like... some daddy inclusivity lol lol. Whatever, I hope to hear back from them soon.

    Today I ate:

  • 1 costco muffin (800 cal)
  • 1 iced coffee (210 cal)
  • 1 bowl of chicken soup (guesstimating 200 cal since it's homemade)
  • 1 can of pepsi (150 cal)
  • TOTAL: 1360 CALORIES

    I walked around 2 miles today, dusted off the old treadmill. Has some weather damage and I lost the emergency stop magnet but I just replaced it with another magnet I found. My app says I burned at least 1000 calories from that walking so hopefully it balances out the sugary breakfast I had.




    May 19th, 2026

    Left work about an hour early today. Totally exhausted, I felt like I was going to pass out while cleaning the theaters. I went home and slept until noon. I don't remember what I did when I woke up. I think I went on my phone for an hour then watched TV, sibling came home and treated me like a mental nutcase like they normally do.

    Cleaned my bathroom today. Washed my cat too since she stank of ammonia and farts. I hope it stays clean long enough for all the people that will be here for my siblings' graduation party. I don't think I had this many people for my graduation. For dinner I ate the rest of the rice and salmon I made, there would have been more if my sibling didn't eat the majority of it. I took a bath to try and remedy the pain in my lower back and leg while I tried to think.

    I learned there is an informed consent HRT clinic in the town I live in, not sure for how much longer considering how things are going politically. Could be gone by the time I finally have the money to afford it. I realized during my bath that I need to be happy with myself before I do any life changing things like HRT, I spent my evening researching colleges. My mother reminded me I had 2 readily available letters of reccomendation I could use in my application. I just need to scrounge up my high school and college records to send in. She seemed like she wanted me to start out small with applying to be a receptionist but I fear if I go down that route I will never climb upwards again. I'm gonna watch the new OneyPlays PEAK upload tonight and maybe play some RDR2. I already did my daily chess puzzle.

    I plan to lose weight as part of my attempt to feel better about myself. I am currently at 180lbs, my goal is 140. I need to eat at minimum 1400 calories per day to lose weight. I will try to measure what I eat here.

    Today I ate:

  • 1 White Monster (10 cal)
  • 1 bagel with nutella (445 cal)
  • Leftover rice and salmon (150 cal)
  • 1 can of pepsi (150 cal)
  • Ben & Jerry's Brownie Batter Core Ice Cream I already ate some the night before so it's the actual serving size today (350cal) TOTAL:755 CALORIES (at least from what I could recall I didn't count like I should have today.)
    • I also walked about 2 miles today and my app says I burned like 1600 so I might have evened out today, hopefully. I hope to provide a more accurate reading tommorow.

    Goals for tomorrow: Walk 2 miles again, clean one part of the house, annndd... maybe format this page a little better.